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swine plague
Apr. 27th, 2009 | 08:28 pm
mood: 
mellow
I am far too cute to be writing papers right now-
or I am just avoiding my enormous workload like the plague.....
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Repeat After Me
Apr. 17th, 2009 | 02:25 am
mood: 
awake
music: "Stand Up"-Flobots
I agree with Sarah, ELJAY is for when you're emo and unhappy.
Well ps world, shit is great these days, and I've neglected to bitch here sorry :]
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I guess sometimes I try too hard, and sometimes you cause it
Mar. 17th, 2009 | 11:50 pm
mood: 
drained
music: "So Sudden"-The Hush Sound
So I should be out getting shit faced like the rest of the population, but I'm not. Instead I am completely and utterly exhausted from having a complete mental breakdown all day. I am pretty sure my mother is sick of me calling, begging for a reason, or any glimpse of hope that things will get better. This place is fucking breaking me down, it has completely shattered my backbone.
Sadly and pathetically it's all because of you. You have broken every bone in my body. Fucked my mind and nerves over and over, and could careless. Its just more things to add to the list that just arent quite good enough. Good enough for you to acknowledge my extreme effort to make you see how much I care. How much I want to see you happy- at all costs.
At all costs.
And I am spent, I need to realize you don't care, care enough to even fake it.
You used to care enough to lie. What happened. You can't even lie to me anymore.
Is it me?
Cause I can't seem to tell who is more unstable, fake and fucked up. You or me.
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Feel Good Groove.
Mar. 14th, 2009 | 11:18 am
music: "Right Me Up" State Radio
Its 50 degrees out. I love it, lets go sandals.
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you could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
Mar. 4th, 2009 | 03:22 am
mood: 
thoughtful
music: OAR
Todays lesson? Life is full of lessons.
Today has been epically confusing.
But such is life.
Actually...Today was a good day.
Also it's almost 4 am why am I still in my work clothes?
Today has been epically confusing.
But such is life.
Actually...Today was a good day.
Also it's almost 4 am why am I still in my work clothes?
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Nobody could care about how you're caught up in the fight of your life.
Mar. 2nd, 2009 | 12:57 pm
mood: 
frustrated
So I still don't know what to say. I'm a fucking mess, in every shape and form. I can't commit to anything, nor do I have the motivation. I'm such a shit show.
And I'm bitter as fuck. I am so tired of being let down, over and over and over and over again. If it's not one thing its another. It was pointed out to me that maybe I just have high expectations. I guess I just need to start living my life with no standards whats so ever. Then maybe I be let down when people can't own up, or try to make things right.
Why do I live my life trying to make everything right.
Everything about being here makes my skin crawl.
And I'm bitter as fuck. I am so tired of being let down, over and over and over and over again. If it's not one thing its another. It was pointed out to me that maybe I just have high expectations. I guess I just need to start living my life with no standards whats so ever. Then maybe I be let down when people can't own up, or try to make things right.
Why do I live my life trying to make everything right.
Everything about being here makes my skin crawl.
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I keep breaking every habit that I fix.
Feb. 26th, 2009 | 11:59 pm
mood: nostalgic
music: Family Guy
Wow it's been so long since I have used any kind of blog, I can't even think of a witty way to start an entry. Hopefully I will get back in the swing of things.
However today has been a day of full blown memories, good, bad, just memories. I think its the weather. I felt like every step I took today reminded me of some other time. Even being in class was so distracting.
I felt like it was an extreme emotional overload.
I don't even think I could describe it, even the smell of the air reminded me of things, things I'd prefer not to remember.
I feel like I live my life that way, remembering things I would prefer not to. Maybe I'm addicted to memories, addicted to the way things would have could have been.
I am such a dweller, but mostly an overthinker. And I just can't seem to kick the habit.
However today has been a day of full blown memories, good, bad, just memories. I think its the weather. I felt like every step I took today reminded me of some other time. Even being in class was so distracting.
I felt like it was an extreme emotional overload.
I don't even think I could describe it, even the smell of the air reminded me of things, things I'd prefer not to remember.
I feel like I live my life that way, remembering things I would prefer not to. Maybe I'm addicted to memories, addicted to the way things would have could have been.
I am such a dweller, but mostly an overthinker. And I just can't seem to kick the habit.